It’s been three days. I have a severe headache. A persistent pricking sensation at the sides of my forehead. When I was 14, my friends were well-known for different things. Natasha, god! The grace with which she used to perform. Damn, then there was Yuvan, whose bowling used to always save the day. And my specialty – procrastination. I was so good at it, that I was even okay enduring pain just to procrastinate things. But eventually, it was starting to become a hindrance in everything I did. So, I finally made my way to an eye doctor after enquiring about all the good ones.
“Dr. Jagadish, MBBS, MD, Ophthalmology, blah blah, blah”, I tried reading, from the whiteboard above, as I parked my car. Clearly, nothing was clear. I rushed into the elevator right when it was about to close, and said “can you please press 4?”. An awkward silence followed.
As soon as the elevator door opened, I was taken aback by what I saw near the reception.
A sea of people.
Were they all waiting to meet Mr. Jagadish? An eye doctor? Really?
I wondered if people actually had an eye issue or if they just fancied glasses. Maybe they just wanted to flip it around and wear it like Rajinikanth or maybe they just wanted to feel intelligent and adjust their glasses like Harry Potter.
Guess we’ll never know.
So after a lot of waiting, I finally met Dr. Jagadish. Every time he came close to test my eyes with his weird-looking instruments, I felt like I was under attack. Those pieces of equipment looked very complicated and for some reason, scary. Subsequently, when I was done with the “D”, “Z’, “T”, and “Oh I can’t see that.”, I went to the spectacles store downstairs with his prescription. A middle-aged guy with very flashy clothes showed me several frames. I liked flashy, just like his clothes.
So I picked a frame similar to it and thanked him.
“You’re welcome sir. Hereafter, you will be able to see things very clearly.”, he said and chuckled.
My head was spinning.
I stepped out to a warm and bright ray of light that only seemed to intensify the pricking sensation in my head. My mouth felt dry like a desert, and I began to look around to find something to quench my thirst. Water, Water, Water, Ummm.
At a certain distance, I finally found a man selling tender coconut. But, I was unsure of the price that was displayed.
Middle-class problems, indeed.
It all seemed blurry. I walked towards the man, and I remembered that I had forgotten to put on my new glasses. I asked him for the “water only” tender coconut and opened my box to wear them. The second I wore the glasses and looked at him to take the tender coconut, I had a weird sensory experience. It felt as though a set of random colours were floating right in front of me, amidst which I could see a small boy running as fast as he could, as though he feared his life. Surrounded by lush green fields, the boy kept running till he reached a concrete road. And then, like a wounded animal, he thrashed himself on the floor and wept over the accident of his dead dad.
It was so intense and painful that in a reflex, I removed the glasses and sat right there on the road. The tender coconut guy asked “Sir, Sir, Sir, Entha Aitu?” in an astonished tone.
I told him my head was spinning and I just needed some sleep. I chugged the coconut water like beer and hurried home. God, this headache, it was taking a toll on me. I took a painkiller and slept for 6 hours straight.
At 7 in the evening, I heard my doorbell ring. My mom had come to visit me after a long time. It had totally slipped my mind.
“I’m so sorry, I forgot to pick you up from the bus stop. I had a terrible headache Ma. But it feels so much better now”, I said, as I opened the door, carrying her luggage.
“Did you at least go see an eye doctor?”, she asked.
“Yeah, it seems like I have an eye problem, and he suggested that I wear spectacles. That’s about it. Anyway, you freshen up. I have a small meeting to attend and we’ll catch up over dinner. I’ll cook”, I said and went back to my room.
I didn’t want the headache to resume, so I made sure I wore my brand-new flashy-frame glasses at all times. I logged in, put myself on mute, paid attention to one hour of bull shit, and even made notes. They had almost finished giving their updates when my mom knocked asking if the meeting was over.
“Yeah ma, come in. It’s almost done.”, I replied.
“Wow, your frames look great Nishanth. You’ve become such a dashing man”, she complimented as she entered the room.
“PFA,
The details of the project. Looking forward to your feedback.”, I murmured typing the last task.
I shut my laptop and responded with an “I know right”, smiling at her.
It happened again.
A set of random colours floating right in front of me only this time I watched an older version of my mom ringing the doorbell of a house that I did not recognize. The man from inside that unknown house pulled her in, pinned her to the wall, and bit her lips.
I threw the glasses and ran towards the bathroom to puke. What the fuck was happening? It wasn’t even my dad. I sealed the commode and sat on it. The air smelt of discomfort. It was all very overwhelming and made no sense. Articulation during a tormenting situation is a skill I did not seem to possess.
And there it was, my headache, making its way with the pricking sensation at the sides of my forehead again. I took a deep breath with holds exactly as my yoga teacher taught. My mom constantly kept knocking on the bathroom door to find out if I was okay.
As soon as I came out of the bathroom, I looked for those glasses, took them, and stormed out. I went straight to the spectacle shop and asked for the middle-aged guy who wore flashy clothes.
A lady with a red shirt, that seemed like their uniform, informed me that they were not allowed to wear any outfit apart from this. It came to my notice that everyone wore red. I showed her the spectacles as an object of proof that I was here this morning and a guy from their store sold them to me. Utterly confused, she said they never had this kind of frame.
Who was this guy?
What sort of glasses were these?
Were they magical? Or was I just high on something that made me imagine stuff?
Even if they were magical glasses, with the two experiences that I’ve had, I really couldn’t draw any conclusions about what they did.
I replayed it all in my head.
Tender coconut guy. Small boy. Mom. A random man.
No, it still did not make sense.
I was puzzled. But, I was also curious.
Curiosity, a trait that succumbs us all.
A double-edged sword.
Sometimes, it leads you to great things. Sometimes, it leads you to a dark side.
Anyways, I leaned on my car and gave it some deep thinking. What if I hadn’t removed those glasses in between?
The brimming curiosity to inspect wasn’t going to let me be.
I tried it on, closed my eyes, and saw the first person beside my car.
The Pani Puri guy was serving the foodies one after another.
It happened again.
The same old pattern.
A set of random colors floating right in front of me amidst which this time, I saw a Mercedes Benz drive into an award function. A clean shaved guy, hair perfectly gelled, walked in and received a trophy for the best food cart in India.
That’s it.
It was only a matter of 10 seconds and I was back to seeing the same Pani Puri guy serving them again.
Would he receive an award in the future?
I continued walking on the road.
I tried it on a dog that looked diseased.
I saw a puppy being rescued and taken care of by a very loving family.
Years later, it was diagnosed with rabies and disowned on the streets again.
I tried it on a school kid who was playing with balloons.
I saw an inspiring Science teacher. She lead by example and taught lessons beyond the classroom.
I tried it on one of the girls that stood outside of a nearby pub.
I saw a younger version of her, sexually assaulted by her cousin. She struggled with recurrent, disturbing nightmares.
I tried it on an electrician.
I saw him stealing money from his neighbors. It was later spent betting on cricket matches.
I tried it on a guy who was buying a cigarette.
I saw him frustrated, hunting desperately, all around the place for his dad’s revolver. He was trying to kill himself.
I tried it on every passerby.
A matter of 10 seconds. Glimpses of their lives.
Some from the past. Some from the future.
Some heart-warming events. Some, a state of misery.
I still couldn’t comprehend the basis of why the glasses portrayed a particular instant of a person’s life and I had no substantial evidence to know if it was true.
I was puzzled. But, I was also curious.
I walked back to the place where my car was parked.
Shit, Mom! She must be waiting for dinner.
I instantly ordered dinner, called her, and apologized. I was home in the next 10 minutes. I wanted to find out if the things I envisioned were true, and my mom was the closest source to getting to the bottom of it.
Should I just ask her?
She arranged the food on our dining table while I went to freshen up. As I splashed some water on my face at the wash basin, that was when it struck me like a bolt of lightning.
Mirrors.
I’d never tried it on myself. I went out, grabbed those glasses, and stared at them.
A moment of panic.
What was going to show up? Was something terrible going to happen?
Either way, it was just a matter of 10 seconds.
And, it appears pretty harmless. Experiences speak.
I stood in front of the mirror, swallowing my fear, and preparing myself for the unknown. My fingers trembled as I wore the glasses. And once I wore it, I waited. I waited for something to happen. Something to pop up, eagerly.
10 seconds. 20. 30.
Everything around me remained as still as ever.
All I saw was just a reflection of myself in a state of panic.
It wasn’t working and I was clueless.
Fuck this shit, I told myself and put the thoughts that surrounded it, aside for a while. I went out to catch up with my mom. We cracked on the same old jokes and discussed topics that ranged from the whereabouts of my sister’s marriage life, dad’s health, and relatives to just life in general as we had dinner.
Before I went to bed, I tried it again standing in front of the mirror, still panicked, hoping something shows up.
Again, just a reflection of hopelessness on my face.
I removed the glasses and laid down on my bed trying to decipher why they transported me to places.
Were those snippets of information the defining moment of that person’s life? Was I the chosen one to help them out with something, you know like in the movies? Or was this lens trying to teach me a lesson that I had to learn about the world?
I closed my eyes. Tossed and Turned.
I was filled with questions that had stolen my sleep away, leaving me disturbed.
The clock was ticking. It was 10:00 pm.
Overwhelmed, I called up Natasha.
Natasha, my best friend since school. My girlfriend since college.
I’d been avoiding her calls since the morning with things going crazy.
As soon as she picked up, without even saying hello, I said “Listen. I want to show you something really important. It’s pretty urgent. Can you come home now?”, sounding troubled.
She understood. She always understood.
That was her most attractive trait. My Natasha.
She said nothing except “I’ll be there in 5.”
We lived a street away from each other, and respected our boundaries, still not ready to move in together.
She sneaked in. As always.
“Why have you been ignoring my calls the entire day?”, she screamed, as she entered.
“Shush, my mom is home. Can you not scream?”, I said locking the back door of the house.
“What your mom is home?????”, she nervously replied.
“Leave that baby, there’s something I want to show you. Let’s just go to the terrace”, I said pulling her.
We both made our way to the terrace with those flashy glasses. I told her all the events that occurred in a chronological order.
At first, she laughed. Then she realized it was not some sort of a prank after seeing my straight face. Although, still skeptical about it.
“Nish, if what you’re saying is true, I want you to try it on me and tell me what you see”, she said.
I was already scarred by what I had visualized with my mom. I didn’t want anything uncomfortable to show up with the girl I was madly in love with and wanted to marry.
Some things are always better unknown.
“Baby, if you don’t trust me, here take it. Try it on.”, I said, putting my hand forward to give her the glasses.
“I hope this is not some stupid joke Nish”, she said as she took them.
We looked around for people so she could try it on, so she could finally realize that I wasn’t joking.
If anything, I was afraid.
My neighbor who was probably in his teens was smoking weed on the terrace next to ours. Our buildings were attached and I’d known him. Because guess who he scored it from?
I called him and made small talk while she tried on the glasses.
She sat right on the floor, shocked, just like me. After all, birds of the same feather flock together.
While I continued talking to that guy, she got up and ran to the other side of the terrace facing the street. I knew it was working. In my peripheral view, I could see that she tried it on everyone that passed by.
I let her be. I let it soak in.
A while later, the guy ran down in between our so-called small talk, afraid he was going to get caught as he heard his dad’s voice.
I turned around, to look for her, to check if she was okay and she was still wearing those glasses.
She looked at me.
The kind of look that spoke volumes. The kind of look I wish I could unsee.
We had an intense eye contact. Only, it was one-sided.
A matter of 10 seconds.
She was terrified. I’d never seen her like that, not even during an event of death.
In the blink of an eye, she took the wooden log that was on the terrace and smacked the glasses to bits and pieces.
Anyways, today is my 40th birthday.
We’ve been married for 13 years now.
Every year, she asks me what I want and every year I ask her the same question to which she has the same answer.
“What did you see that day Natasha?”
“It doesn’t matter Nishanth. It was just a matter of 10 seconds.”
And I think to myself, Guess we’ll never know.